Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boys!
by Elise the Writing Desk
Summary: Girlfriend dumped you for a reason that you're too dumb to understand? Are you too awkward around girls? Trying to get a girlfriend but never been taken seriously? Or maybe, you're too dumb to understand love? Do not fear, boys! Learn the passion of love in the good old-fashioned school of lover boys! You're guaranteed to get any women you want! ...Except the female-teacher. AU
1. Prologue

**Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boys**  
_July 21st 2013  
_by Elise the Writing Desk, Wonderful Wonder World by QuinRose

* * *

"Darling, do you remember what date it is, next Wednesday?"

"Yeah, 23rd..."

"Do you remember what _day_ it is on 23rd?"

"Wednesday." Julius replied, his eyes never leaving his laptop. Jessica, his girlfriend, fumed with red face of anger and stomped.

"It's our anniversary, idiot! I hate you, Julius!" she whined.

"Oh, sorry!" Julius flinched in realization. "So sorry, I'm so busy...You know that...!"

"You're always so busy with your work! You never have time for me! You never remember anything about us! What's the point of going on like this!?" Jessica started to cry. Julius grimaced harder, confused about what to do to the girl.

"I'm sorry okay...I-I'll make it up to you...Where do you want our anniversary date?"

"Forget it! You'll just forget on the day! I hate you! We're through!" dramatically, she stormed out of Julius' workshop. "You'll never get a good woman! Heck, I'm not even sure if you'd appreciate them!" she said one last time before slamming the door close.

The framed pictures on the wall fell off and crashed from the shake.

Julius paled. "B-But I'm busy..."

Feeling sad and guilty, he sat back before his laptop and rubbed his temple.

His eyes then caught an advertisement on the net.

~.X.~

Blood stared at Leila boredly, as his girlfriend was glaring back at him piercingly.

"Okay, what's wrong." Blood finally huffed.

"Nothing." Leila scoffed sharply, looking away.

"Okay, this date is over then." Blood sighed and flipped out his cellphone. "Melinda, if you're going to glare at me when we meet, I do not want to meet—"

"Y-You're cheating on me! You jerk!" Leila had snatched his cellphone and slammed it to the floor.

"What do you think you're doing!?" Blood yelled angrily as his phone was crashed.

"You're cheating on me! You're..."

"I told you many times, I never cheat. Those women just come up to me."

"And you did nothing to stop them!" Leila was crying. "And in fact, you're still meeting them! That Melinda bitch is that ginger yesterday, right!?"

"See here—"

SLAM

The door was opened, and another girl rushed in, with big belly.

"Blood! This is your responsibilty! I'm pregnant!" Ruby cried hysterically. "My dad's going to kill me!"

Leila's jaw on the floor. "WHAT—You bitch! He's my man! What do you think you're doing!? How dare you to claim responsibility at him!" she went to claw the pregnant teen, who screeched and clawed back.

"Okay, okay, drop it..." Blood pulled them apart. He turned at Ruby. "Abort it, I'll give you the money." He said to the pregnant girl.

She paled and tear up again. "B-But...I want this child! This child we made together...Blood! D-Do you not want our chi—"

"Shut the fuck up, bitch! What do you think!?" Leila snapped again. "He just fucked you because you were desperate!"

Ruby flushed in wrath and screamed; "You're just jealous because he won't have sex with you!"

Leila's eyes widened with burning face, and then, at the revelation, the two girls fell silent. Blood slowly stepped backwards.

"Blood, this bitch claims that she slept with you, despite she knows you're going out with me." Leila coldly started.

"I told you many times...She came up at me..." Blood retorted lamely.

Ruby flushed. "Y-You...!? How can you say that!? That night you said that you were just playing with others! You said you're only serious with me!"

Leila turned at her sharply. "H-He said that to me too!"

SLAM

And yet another girl came, although with completely different mood, she came and clung to Blood's arm, who groaned.

"Bloody~! What do you mean about that call? Of course we're going to have fun~! I had a room booked for us tonight~!"

"...Melinda." Blood facepalmed.

Leila and Ruby twitched as they glared at Melinda.

Melinda then looked at them in surprise, as if just realizing that they were there. "Oh~? Who are these girls? Your servants, Bloody?"

"No, they're my..." Blood fell silent, loss of words.

"Fuck-buddies." Leila and Ruby finished for him, and Melinda's eyes widened.

"Fuck this shit, just send me the abortion money." Ruby huffed angrily and stomped out of the living room.

"I hope someone cut your dick!" Leila cried angrily as she went to follow Ruby, but then glared at Melinda. "You're just a slut with big boobs! That's why he wants sex with you!"

"What!?" Melinda yelled at her. "You don't know anything, bitch! You're just jealous!"

Ruby walked back and yelled at Blood; "This child in my womb must be ashamed of you, Blood! Shame on you and your fucking dirty testicles!"

The two finally left the room, leaving only Melinda, who was gaping, and Blood who sighed and rubbed his head.

"Blood...You impregnated that girl!?" Melinda screeched.

"Well...she asked me not to wear a condom..." Blood rubbed his temple.

"Y-You admit you had sex with her!" she cried and stepped back. "W-We're through! I hate you!"

As the girls left his residence, his sister came in and laughed at his state.

"Haha, told you so." Vivaldi giggled mockingly.

"I do not wish to hear that from a twenty-years old single." Blood mocked back.

"Ouch, stingy Blood is having a bad mood..." Vivaldi giggled. "You should've treat girls better, Blood."

Blood rolled his eyes. "I need not to. Besides, they will always come at me. Whether it's money, intelligence or look, I have them. So no problem."

Vivaldi sighed tiredly. "Look, Blood...I really am not sure on what do you want from being in a relationship, aside of sex. If you only want sex, then you can always go to the pimps!" she explained clearly.

"I am not taking the risk of getting STDs." Blood stubbornly said. "Besides, what else is there in a relationship? I don't want to hear you though, since you've never been in a relationship." He sneered at her older sister who rolled her eyes.

"There's a reason why I have never been in a relationship, Blood. I'm focusing on my carreer, right? I'm busy taking care of our company until you turn twenty. Besides, no one has caught my eyes yet. I want my relationship to be something special, unlike yours." Vivaldi explained patiently.

Blood scoffed. "What's so special about women...? They're all the same. Onto looks, money and finally intelligence."

Vivaldi smirked and leaned her chin to her hand, staring at her little brother. "What about women like me?"

"Y-You're different..." Blood quickly waved.

"And if you find someone else like me? Do you know how to treat her?" she challenged.

Blood raised his eyebrows. He slowly bit his lower lip and looked away. Vivaldi giggled.

"I thought as much. While you're still young then, go and learn to do so." She stood up and patted her brother's head, leaving a paper on his head.

Blood took it and his eyes widened as he read the paper.

~.X.~

"Give me some space, Elliot! Geez!"

Elliot fell silent as his girlfriend, Paige, glared at him in disgust.

"I'm tired of you. Do you think I have no life? You can't keep calling me every ten minutes! I don't want you to control my schedules! I'm suffocating from all your crap!"

"B-But...Lisa..." Elliot tried to reason, "I...I really like you."

"This is not going to work, Elliot..." Lisa frowned sadly. "We have to stop this. You have to get your own life away from me..." she left the car and slammed the door close, not saying anything anymore.

Elliot trembled and dropped his head on the driving wheel. He was just...trying to be a good boyfriend...Maybe he did it wrong...? He then pulled out the brochure he received on the street earlier.

"...Hmm...I'll try this...I don't know what to do anymore..."

~.X.~

Ace raised his eyebrows as he entered the expensive building, and only saw handful of men sitting in the waiting room, each of them had different emotion on their face. The brunet walked before them to reach his seat, counting as he did.

Just ten...?

"Yo," Ace grinned at the man next to him, a frigid albino who just glared at him coldly. "Did your girlfriend dump you or what?"

"Hmph." The albino looked away.

"Don't mind him, he's been like that..." the blond across Ace whispered with a wry smile. "If that question's directed at me, then I'd say...yes..." he laughed awkwardly.

"Oh, sorry to hear that. I'm Ace." The brunet introduced himself.

"I'm Elliot. What about you, then? Did the same thing happened to you?" Elliot asked.

"Nah, it's worse. The girl I like won't look at me." Ace smiled cheerfully.

"Oh..." Elliot frowned in pity. "Sorry about that. It sounded...worse than my situation."

"What about your situation, then?"

"I...treated my girl friend in the wrong way...I couldn't give her proper space..." Elliot said sadly.

"Hmph, just hope this place really do something, then..." the raven-head beside Elliot scoffed, underestimating.

Ace shrugged, while Elliot just laughed wryly and they fell silent for a while. Most guys in that room had either a worried look or an impatient, disbelieving look on their face; wondering if this place would really help them in relationship.

Ace stared at his brochure with a smirk.

The door then opened, and a ginger, a red-head, a young woman, a pair of twins, a silver-head with an eyepatch and a muscular dark-haired man stepped into the room, creating a line. The silver-head with an eyepatch stood in front of the line, apparently as the leader.

"Thank you for coming to our special course on How to be A Good Lover Boy!" he greeted them with a polite bow, "I'm Nightmare Gottschalk, the head of this course. I will be coordinating your program for the year, and by the end of our contract, I guarantee that all of you can be the gentleman that you and every woman would dream of!"

"Please, introduce yourselves. Starting from the corner left seat row over there."

An auburn-haired boy gasped and jumped off his seat. "I-I'm Pierce Villiers, sir."

"Ah, Pierce! Will you share your problem in relationship to us? Everyone should prepare for this question; it's very important for us to know your problem while we try to help you during the program." Nightmare added.

Pierce blushed and looked down. "I-I'm...I'm...I'm too shy...a-and awkward..."

Some other attendants scoffed at this, shrinking the boy's gut.

"That you not need to worry! That's the easiest obstacle to get rid of, Pierce." Nightmare beamed, and gestured a hand to the muscular man beside him. "This is Jericho Bermuda, he's specialized in gesture training."

Jericho walked forth casually with his hands in his pocket. "Looks like we've got too many dickheads this year, though." He sneered to the other guys, and then tilted his head towards Pierce. "Stop being fidgety and listen' up to me, Pierce. You'll be doin' just fine."

"Y-Yes sir!" Pierce puffed his chest and saluted.

The girl beside Nightmare giggled, making the shy boy blush.

"Next?"

A long, navy-haired man stood from his seat. "Julius Monrey. I can't organize my time...I can't...give my time to my girlfriend, and I don't understand why I should."

"Oh, that's a common weakness for busybodies." Nightmare exclaimed. "Do not fear. We will teach you priorities." He then gestured his hand to the young twins.

"The name's Dee, and he's Dum." The blue-eyed one snickered.

"We'll be the examiners for you every week on basic questions and practices on dating simulation. Prepare to work hard." The red-eyed one smirked.

A red-head sighed and stood from his seat at his turn.

"Black Joker. I don't know why the fuck I'm here. That bastard just dragged the shit out of me here." Black narrowed his eye (as he's wearing a mask on one eye) to an identical-looking red-head beside Dee and Dum.

"Oh, yeah...I'm the one who's specialized in taking care of mentally challenged guys. The name's White Joker." The red-head came forth and smirked back to his glaring twin. His eye then swept the rest of the attendants. "Seems like there are some of you with this problem. This is gonna be a long year..."

Nightmare chuckled. "White will explain to you common things in relationships; why you have to do this, what you have to say, and everything else you need to understand."

"Boris Airay. No girls take me seriously so I can't get a girlfriend." An emo-haired guy introduced himself afterwards.

"Heh, idiot." The oldest-looking ginger in the line stepped forth. "Have no fear, Gowland's here. You stupid brats gonna learn a bit acting and being honest. Man, this year's gonna be hard, just like others have said..." he sighed and shrugged.

Ace then watched the rest of the guys introducing themselves; a black-haired guy named Sidney Black. He's too stoic and serious, socially challenged that he couldn't understand many things about girls. The albino's Peter White, he wanted get over his rude and cold personality, but he couldn't help it since he's a germophobe. Elliot explained the same thing that Ace had heard earlier.

A dark-haired young man, the tallest of them all, with golden eyes, his name was Gray Ringmarc; he wanted to be a perfect gentleman before he could confess to his undying love. The raven-head's name was Blood Dupre, who seemed very arrogant and he just wanted to know what's more in a relationship.

"I'm Ace. I'm here just to learn about how to be a gentleman." Ace finally introduced himself with his bright smile.

"Ah, that's a good spirit." Nightmare praised. "It's really better to learn this thing before actually jumping into the real act, way before having the 'feel'..." he gestured with his fingers.

"First thing you gentlemen-will-be have to know, a woman and a man, other than their genital organs, have different ways of seeing a relationship." Nightmare started to explain.

"Maybe most of you just want to play around for now, but as you reach the time, when you finally matured, and want to stay, have a woman, have a house, and children, men and women have different requirements." He walked back and forth before his pupils.

"Blood," he pointed a finger to the raven-head. "If you're going to have a wife who will take care of the house and your children...what kind of woman will you prefer? Do you want a woman...who's good in the bed, funny, beautiful and party-hard? Or do you prefer a woman who's caring, soft, cook well, clean well and mature?"

Blood scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Anyone's gotta be a real kid if they don't know what to pick. The latter, of course."

"Exactly," Nightmare smiled and nodded. "Do you gentlemen agree with Blood on this?"

The others nodded.

"However," Nightmare began again, "It's different with women. Completely different." He shook his silver hair and sighed.

"You'd have to have a lot of money, good looks and a little of wit. Some would prefer the guys to be dumb, though." Nightmare shrugged.

"I knew it..." Blood scoffed. The other guys had mixed, worried expressions.

"That's only because the woman is not in love!" Nightmare said again louder. "It's natural for a woman to seek comfort, to live safe and happily. They're women! Can you blame them for that?"

Blood's smirk faltered. Elliot nodded sadly, and Julius sighed in defeat.

"Besides, when you care for someone, don't you want that person to live safe and comfortably, happy and secure?" Nightmare received some agreeing nods from his pupils.

"However, this doesn't apply when the woman is deeply in love with you." Nightmare had a smirk as he began.

"As long as you're her type, you can fulfill her inner desires and you'd let her know that your heart is hers...a woman wouldn't care if you're ugly, a jerk, a murderer, a beast, a gigolo...even a gay!" he exclaimed.

Blood's eyes widened. Pierce seemed to be at shock, like most attendants.

"And that, is why..." Nightmare smiled softly. His hand gestured to the only female in the room. "We have her with us here."

"I'm Alice Liddell," she introduced herself softly, gazing down as if embarrassed. "I'm an actress. I will be your partner in your dating simulations." She then snickered at them daringly.

"When you're practicing dating simulations, I will change my character to the curriculum's liking, until you can treat every type of women correctly." Alice smiled brightly.

"Aside from the curriculum's schedule, you may have your private simulation after course, but since I'm the only capable actress here, you must organize your schedule." Her smile faltered, leaving a cold exterior.

Julius raised his eyebrows. Boris clamped his mouth as he shivered. She could keep her tone monotonously while changing her expressions completely.

She's...like a robot. Not a robotic-robot, she's like a robot you could program to act to your liking.

"Though, be careful, not to fall in love with me, hehe~!" Alice winked challengingly.

Ace smirked, while Blood narrowed his eyes.

This young lady...she couldn't possibly be a human, could she?

Nightmare chuckled, and grandly said;

"And so, shall we begin...?"

* * *

**Yooo...It's been a while. You can kill me! ...If you can find me. **

**Anyways, I don't know if I'll upload the rest twelve chapters. This is supposed to be read by men...but meh. I really don't know if I will, because I'll be moving out and I'm not sure if I can bring my laptop ;_;**

**This is completely the opposite of this fanfic, but...What is the thing that you really want to learn in a relationship, girls? How to attract the boy? How love feels like? How to act around boys? What kind of outfit to wear around them? Something else? Share it with me in your reviews! ;)**


	2. First Month

**Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boys!**

* * *

First Month

* * *

The first class of How to be A Good Lover Boy Course was a room with lounge and fireplace. White sat in a single sofa as the ten pupils sat down on the lounge.

"Welcome to your first class, young gentlemen-will-be." White said, crossing one of his foot over the others. "Note to you all, this isn't exactly a good example; a gentleman should not sit like this, unless you're a metro-sexual man and you have a certificate to prove that you're a valid metro-sexual guy."

Julius, Gray, and Blood quickly dropped their foot.

White smiled and inhaled as his eye swept the room.

"Well, for the first thing you need to learn in relationship will be..._What do you want in a relationship_? Let's start with...Blood Dupre. Apparently you've been in numerous relationships that ends bad."

Blood froze and narrowed his eyes. "How do you..."

White smirked. "Judging from your bored expression and the way you cross your arms, it voices that you've more experience than the others. However, your eyes glances here and there quite many times, indicating that you're worried if this course is a waste."

"You occasionally tap your foot since you're impatient. And judging from your choice of outfit; a loose white shirt, you're trying to show off the hickeys."

"And you frown quite deep unconsciously, indicating that you've never been in a good relationship."

"..." Blood gulped and glanced away, couldn't admit it yet couldn't deny.

Pierce seemed super impressed. "H-How do you do that?"

"This is called _profiling_. A skill to know a person by observing from simple gestures, images and habits." White explained and crossed his arms, leaning to the back of the chair. "You will learn half of my skill to observe ladies and understand them. If you want to excel at profiling, you should go and be a detective."

Julius raised his hand. "Why do we need to observe the ladies?"

White chuckled. "Lesson number one: no matter how a lady try to not care, how she seems patient about it, how she tries to deny it; a lady likes it to know that she's being observed. _A lady likes it to have someone paying attention to her intently._"

"...B-But..." Elliot tried to speak out.

"And at the same time," White said louder, directing at Elliot, "A lady does not like attention when she does _not need it_."

Elliot shut his mouth.

"Now," White smiled brighter. "Let's go back to Blood. What do you want in a relationship, my friend?"

Blood had a hard look on his face, and said; "I don't know."

White smirked. "I think I do." Blood pierced his eyes on the red-head.

"What about you, Elliot?" he changed the target.

Elliot heaved. "I...I want to be loved by someone I love..." he sincerely said.

Blood had a confused look on his face. Pierce looked down and blushed. Boris whistled. Gray smiled understandingly. Peter sighed as if he was embarrassed to hear it. Sidney coughed awkwardly. Julius frowned. Black yawned, and Ace blinked curiously.

~.X.~

1st Important thing to know: Love

"Bull's eye." White grinned. "Some people have different purpose in relationships, but in this context, the true answer is love."

Blood didn't even bother to show his manner. "That's ridiculous. There's no such thing, right?"

"In some ways, there isn't." White waved to calm Blood from debating him. "Basically," White got up and turned on a projector. He clapped his hands so the light turned off, and revealed writings on the white wall.

**Love is a mysterious thing; it's **_**a state where you fully accept something, defend it, fight for it, try to understand it and believe in it with all your heart**_**.**

"Most realistic examples will be those people who fully devote themselves to the country; they'd do as they told, they'd die for their country, they'd protect their country with all their might."

"Or people with strong religions; they believe in God, do as He commands and avoid what He forbids."

Black shook his head. "Whoah hold the fuck on there...That sounds more like fucking fanatic people. So what you're trying to fucking say is; love is like a fanatic obsessive things to something?"

White laughed. "Fanaticism and love are completely different things." He used a remote to turn the page of the presentation.

**Fanaticism: when you're **_**obsessed with something,**__**but you'd hate others who say bad things about it, to the point that you'd want to destroy them**_**.**

"For example, fans on the internet. Let's just imagine...Justin Bieber, for example."

"Do you have to pick the worst role model?" Peter rolled his eye.

"Quiet, Peter. So yeah, Justin Bieber; their fans are completely obsessed with them, and imagine those ladies would kill anyone who dares to insult Bieber within their hearing range. Like, even if what that person says is true! _Justin Bieber puke on the stage_!" White tried to mimicked, "And the fangirls would be like_; Shut it! We'll kill you_!_ He's perfect!_" White made his point clear by showing the next line.

**Fanatic people obsess something, but doesn't want to hear about its flaws, even if it's logical and true. That's fanaticism.**

"While in the context of love, it's completely different." White turned to the next page after making sure everyone's got enough time to read.

**Human's love: we love someone else who's more perfect than us. And then it goes down to the point where we found our match; we can make her perfect, and she can make us perfect. And that's why we love each other.**

"Psychologically, _humans seek perfection, despite they're imperfect_. That's why there are religious people; they love God, because _they believe_ God is perfect. Most of us here might or might not even believe God exists, but that's up to everyone. Is that logical for you?"

"While in human's context, it's a bit different. When someone is truly in love, they accept it as a whole; they'd love its flaws and its good points. That is called a _true_ love. A very rare thing."

The pupils fell silent as they progress White's words, while the red-head smiled and leaned back again to rest a little, until he thought they've grasped most of his words.

"And for our context, we have different purposes. Yet our mission is to _convince our target to believe that they seek love from us_. Whether it will bloom into real love or not, it goes back to your own purpose. So now, are we clear on our objective?" White questioned, and Boris shook his head.

"What's the point? How do we convince others that they love us when...maybe we're not. Maybe we just want to marry her because she's rich daddy girl. Maybe because we want to get into her pants. Maybe because we're complete creeps." Boris argued.

White nodded. "Good question. That's why I started by making you understand about love." He clicked the next page.

**A woman in love = give you all money = sex = love you = do everything you say *depends on her level of intelligence as well.**

"Thus, explains why we're going to study about different kinds of girls!"

~.X.~

Asian Girls

"Asians are known for their fierce intelligence and dignity. Though their dignity levels or you can say, resistance level vary depends on the area." White smiled as they walked into a different class the next day.

"For the first example, Japanese girls."

Alice came into the room, wearing Japanese sailor school uniform with neatly combed hair. She bowed at the pupils politely.

"Nice to meet you. Please take care of me."

The boys were busy staring at Alice in her cosplay, since Japanese's uniform had short skirt, and they couldn't help but trail their eyes along her legs.

White chuckled knowingly and elbowed Boris.

"Now let's see how you'd act around girls, Boris." He said.

"Oh, sweet." Boris snickered and came forth casually. He winked at Alice. "Hey there, cutie? Care to gimme your name?"

Alice blushed and looked down. "U-Um...why would I...?" she frowned.

Boris raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, well, so I can call you if I wanna go and hang out~! So whaddaya say?"

Alice looked away shyly. "I-I don't even know your name..." she blushed harder.

"The name's Boris. And yours, is?"

"A-Alice..."

"Hm...What a cute name! A cute name for a cute girl." Boris smirked and slowly put a hand on her shoulder. "So what do you say? Wanna hang out?"

"Um...sorry! Boris-kun!" Alice flushed dark and bowed apologetically. "I...I need to study. I don't have time to hang out. G-Gomennasai...Ja!" she bowed and excused herself, leaving into the changing room.

Boris froze in the spot. "That usually works...a-at least...we'd hang out for fun!" he reasoned.

"Okay, then let's see what Black can do." White nodded to his twin.

"Me!?" Black pointed at himself in surprise. Before he could protest, Alice had came into the room again.

This time, she was wearing a kimono, and had a very soft look on her face, gazing down shyly.

"B-But—"

"Go!" Gray and Boris pushed the red-head to the stage.

Black gaped as his eyes fell to the young lady in the kimono before him. She looked like a completely different personality, gazing down shyly and all! Black glared at White.

"But I don't even fuckin'—"

"Ano, sa..." Alice gasped and put her palm on her lips. "Naze...? How can you say such a harsh word...? It's not very nice..." she looked down with a frown.

"Oh, s-sorry." Black twitched. "I'm Black."

Alice nodded, still not looking at him. "_Naru hodo_...Black-kun...is there something you need from me?"

Black gaped and then desperately turned to White. "What the fuck am I supposed to do!?" he mouthed at him.

"Try to ask her out." White mouthed back.

"Oh yeah, uh, I was just wondering...if...if you'd hang out with me." Black awkwardly muttered.

Alice suddenly gazed up at him coldly, and looked away, flipping out a fan.

"Gomennasai, Black-kun. I am not a cheap easy woman, if that's what you think of me."

Black twitched. "What!? I didn't—"

"Excuse me now. I need to return to my study." Alice turned and walked away, back into the changing room.

Black was left with his jaw hanging.

White laughed. "Courtesy is very important in order to approach an Asian girl. Every Asians are educated with strict manners; they're careful around strangers and courtesy is a way to show that you have enough intelligence to socialize with them."

Boris and Black twitched. "You're saying we're idiots!?" they yelled.

White ignored them. "Now, let me give you off some tips. When handling Japanese girls, you have to show courtesy, with two characters; cheerful or calm. You have to stand strong and look confident...No twiddling hands!" he smacked Pierce's fiddling fingers.

"S-Sorry!"

"No stuttering, and just act casual but polite. Japanese girls are also easily impressed with smart boys, especially if they're good looking and sociable. Most smart students in Japan aren't really good at socializing, but they're very respected."

Next, Alice came into the room with braided pigtail and thick glasses, looking horrified.

"In Asia, grades and scores are very important. Usually it's a related thing towards their family." White tilted his head to Alice. "Elliot, why don't you try this one out?"

Elliot gulped and walked forth.

"Hello, I'm Elliot. Nice to meet you." Elliot said cheerfully.

Alice pushed her thick glasses and had a relieved smile as she replied to him. "Oh...Nice to meet you, Elliot-kun. I'm Alice..."

Elliot bit his lower lip as his minds were racing, and an idea popped in. "I'm sorry if I'm being nosy, but I see that you're whimpering. You look pale, are you okay?"

Alice looked down. "Ah...um...It's not a big deal..."

Elliot had been in a relationship once, so he knew that it was a lie.

"Do you need someone to take you to...infirmary?" he offered politely.

Alice shook her head and sighed. "_J-Jitsu wa_, Elliot-kun...I'm going to have an exam tomorrow...B-But I don't understand the materials...I'm so nervous...If I get bad scores, _Okka-san to Otto-san_ are going to kill me." She whimpered, playing with her skirt.

"Oh, I see..." Elliot awkwardly scratched his cheek. "If you want to, I can accompany you to study. I...I'm not very smart, but I heard that studying together makes the material easier to grasp."

Alice fell silent and blushed hard as she looked up at Elliot happily. "_H-Hontou?_ You'll study with me? _Arigatou_, Elliot-kun!" she smiled brightly.

Elliot blushed hard and looked away. How could one be so cute even when looking like a complete nerd!?

"Bravo!" White clapped, and the other nine started to clap, sincerely impressed.

Elliot laughed awkwardly as Alice walked away into the changing room.

"That went better than expected." Elliot sighed.

White patted his shoulder. "That means that Elliot fits to be around Asians. However, his attitude will only get him into _the friendzone_."

STAB

"After you've passed the Courtesy Test, be a little bold, but act as if you didn't think much about it." White added. "Bold in Asian's eyes are very simple and sweet; touching hands, gazing into each other's eyes, wiping or stroking cheeks, whispering...Kissing anything, hugging, flirting and others are strictly forbidden until you're in the Boyfriend Zone."

"Next month, we'll learn about Old-fashioned girls! Now prepare for tomorrow's lesson!"

~.X.~

Basic Gentleman's Gestures

Black groaned. "I'm not fucking interested in girls for now! Why the fuck do I have to attend this class!?"

White paused his pace and turned to his twin coldly.

"Why, you ask?" he coldly smiled. "Are you forgetting that you've almost killed yourself for being a dumbass around women?"

* * *

How Black Almost Killed Himself for Being A Dumbass Around Women

(A middle school reunion two weeks ago. Black's sitting with White near the girls.)

Girl A: She's been talking bad things behind my back! What a bitch!

Girl B: I know, looking all sweet in front of us and gossips when we turn away!

Girl A: I hate girls like that! I've NEVER talk bad behind anyone's back.

Black: *blinked in confuse* ...

Girl B: Yeah, that's SO hypocrite.

Black: ...You bitches are talking bad things behind whoever-the-fuck's back, in case you don't fuckin realize it. *sips soda*

Girls: ... *gaped in disbelief*

Girl C: Oh, Black, you just don't know that girl! You can't help it if you know her...It's like...a special treatment!

Girl A: Yeah, she's SO bitchy and stingy, as if she's all THAT.

Girl B: Uh-huh! Like, hello? Is she always on her period?

Girls: *laugh together*

Black: ...*hums* But you bitches are being bitchy and stingy...so are girls always on their fucking periods or what?

White: *spits coke on a waiter*

Black: Oh...I fucking get it. So bitches on their periods get a special treament...And the fucking treatment is like, wearing this fucking fake hair? I fuckin' don't get it. Why the fuck anyone would put on stranger's hair? And why the fuck do you put on fake eye-lashes?

Girl C: Th-These aren't fake!

Black: Well, it's fucking sticking on your cheek, bitch.

Girl A: *gasps*

Girl C: *screeches* Eww! This can't be! *leaves for the restroom*

Black: So yeah, why the fuck do girls put on fake hairs? Why are girls talking about not being a bitch by being a fucking bitch who talks behind a bitch's back? It's like...Bitchception. And are you really always on your fucking period? Then when do you shave your vagi—"

White: *strangles Black* Oho! Look at the time, ladies! Black's sleepy! See ya in the next reunion!

(White dragged Black out of the restaurant while the girls were holding steak knives with angry faces.)

* * *

Black frowned in confuse. "Meh, they didn't fucking kill me!"

White twitched and pushed his brother into the class. "Just get in there!"

Jericho Bermuda was the one leading today's class. The class had a car, a balcony with small dining table, a phone and a big mirror.

"Heh, this is your first gesture class, huh?" Jericho snickered casually, and glanced to Gray. "Escort the lady into the ride." He said to him.

Alice came into the room, now wearing a pale blue dress, looking like a princess ready for a ball. Gray quickly came to her.

"My lady," Gray said, bowing and offered his arm. "Your hand, please."

"Why, thank you." Alice smiled dazzlingly as Gray escorted her to the simulation limo.

He let go of her hand gently, bowed and opened the door for her. He lend his hand again to keep her balance as Alice entered the limo without stepping on her dress. Gray closed the door with proper strength and elegantly walked to the driver's side and entered the vehicle.

"Aha, that is smooth! Fantastic." Jericho clapped, impressed. Gray got out of the limousine in relief. "But you're acting too frigid. You've been following the guide book, eh? Line up, boys."

The pupils lined up as Alice got out of the car and stood beside Jericho.

Jericho stared at each of them. "Straighten your posture, Julius. Hands on your sides, Pierce. Blood, don't let your eyes wander around, always look straight ahead. Stop grinning like a damn fool Boris. Elliot, erase that worried frown, no one's gonna bite you. Peter, stop using too much hand sanitizer, you smell like hospital. Sidney, relax."

The pupils quickly did as he had said. Jericho huffed and pulled out a cigar. Alice pulled out a lighter and turned on the cigar. Jericho breathed it in before he returned to the boys again.

"Every kind of ladies will like a man with manly gesture, posture and voice. Especially if those manly gestures appeared just for her; she'll be like, _Oh, he only acts like a gentleman for me...I feel so special..._" Jericho mimicked.

He pulled out a stick and patted Pierce's chest with it. "Your voice have to be strong, no stutters."

He patted Blood's shoulders. "Straighten up, don't look bored, give her all your attention no matter what."

Jericho quirked his eyebrow at Sidney. "Work out. Most of you have to work out. Girls like it if you can carry them bridal style and say that they don't weigh much."

The class taught them on proper acts to do while dating. Always check the time, make sure she doesn't come home past curfew. Open the door for her, pull the seat for her.

Peter found himself sitting down after a while, panting.

It's all so hard. It's like, they have to act like someone else to be loved! Is that the whole point? Act like someone else to be loved?

"Screw this shit!" Black burst suddenly, slamming the car's door. "Why the fuck do I have to act all this shit? I don't even think about fucking relationships!"

Jericho exploded into laughter. The pupils were priceless, and waited for him to stop laughing. Heaving out smoke, Jericho sighed again.

"I've told you in the beginning, right? I'm not training you to act like someone else." He said. "I'm teaching you to be a gentleman around your target so she will feel special."

"Even if your purpose is money, the sex, the popularity, or you're really in love; you have to convince that she's in love with you, and _you have to make her think that you love her_." Jericho inhaled his cigar and puffed.

"To make her think that you love her, can be two obvious way; verbal and acts. Verbal acts will be like a contract that she'll bring up every time you're trying to screw up. Like..."

"You said you love me! Now, when a lady say such a thing, it's a great evidence enough to put you into the court when you're just trying to get her money."

"On the other hand, by choosing to _act as if you love her_, when you're trying to mess up, she'll have to valid prove. Like, you only act like a gentleman around her, and when you're trying to break up, she'll be like; _B-But I thought you love me! You treated me so well_! But since you were just acting, you could say; _How did I treat you? I treated you the same as I treated others_."

"So it's like..." Peter started, "...We're lying to her, but she doesn't have valid prove."

"Exactly. For women, words can be a deathly contract. They're more insecure and always read in too much on other's acts. That's why, I'm not teaching you to be someone else. I'm teaching you to treat women nicely."

Black sighed and leaned to the simulation limo.

"Still don't understand why the fuck I'm here."

* * *

**Don't be hatin'. What I wrote here are compilation of what I've learned so far. You can't deny that nowadays, relationships have different purposes, depending on the couples.**

**In my country, relationships are meant just for fun. **

**The first chance of attracting a boy is sadly, you have to be good looking. Second chance is confidence. Third, don't be too smart (in my country). The rest, be funny, show kindness and caring here and there. If you just want to be friends, then just act like yourself.**

**How to act around boys? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm the weirdest bitch on planet Earth, I act as I want. But rather than getting flustered and all, just be polite, laugh at his joke even if it's not funny, don't correct him when he's wrong, always smile, praise him as sincere as you can. If you're shy...Try to be more sincere and smile more even if it's awkward.**

**Now for what kind of outfit to wear, I have to fucking idea, since I have no sense of fashion. My boyfriend's the one who picks clothes for me. -_-; **

**Next chapter will probably about **Girls With Different Hair-Colors**. So yeah, what kind of hair color do you have? Tell me which part do you agree and do you disagree, in your review!**


	3. Second Month

**Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boys!**

* * *

Second Month

* * *

The second class was led by Dee and Dum; they seemed young, but of course, everything's never as it seems. When Sidney finally entered the room late, he saw the two were handling girls in each's arms.

"Oh, our idiots are here...Too bad, Felicia." Dee, the blue-themed twin, let his girl exit the room.

"Till we meet again, Rosaline~" Dum winked. "Call me!"

Just as the girls exited the class, and the pupils thought the lesson could finally start, several ringtones interrupted; Dee and Dum quickly fetch their cellphones.

"Sorry, sorry, Trixie, I'll call you later...I miss you...but this is how it should be." Dee sultry smirked to his phone and clicked the next caller. "Ruby! It's been a while! Are you still as hot as you had always been, sweetie?"

"Kelly, honey, I'm sorry about this, but I really can't talk right now. I'll talk to you later...at Palace Hotel...how's that?" Dum grinned to his phone. "Sweet! Get ready to be surprised!"

Sidney twitched as he sat down beside Black. "Am I late or what?"

"They've been busy for at least half an hour..." Julius narrowed his eyes.

"What the fuck...it's like they're fucking showing off..." Black growled impatiently.

After a while, finally the twins turned off their cell phones and observed their older pupils.

"So, welcome to our class, noobs." Dum snickered.

"We're gonna teach you a bit of this and that..." Dee chuckled and flicked his fingers. The pupils then watched Alice Liddell came, wearing sleeveless shirt and knee-length pants; casual and unreadable as usual.

"Today, we're gonna make you learn about..." Dum gestured with his fingers; "Traps."

Pierce gulped; Boris and Peter exchanged stares.

"Women are the definition of 'everything is never as it seems', like in _Fireflies_ song." Dee yawned. "Words are crucial, expressions and acts are measured; women tend to read in things very much, especially when you're someone close to them in relationship."

"Alright, let's get started!" Dum clapped his hands and nodded to Alice. "When Alice says something, each of you have to give the correct response. Knowing if it's correct or not will be known from how she reacts back. And so it begins!"

Alice put on a neutral face, with slightly tense jaw and stared at the ten males. "We need to talk."

Blood and Elliot, having been in a relationship (some, for Blood), knew that it was the beginning of a bad thing. But Peter had taken the wrong act;

"Sure, what is it?"

Alice narrowed her eyes on him; "Don't pretend like you don't know! I hate it when you act all innocent!" she humphed and looked away angrily.

"Peter White's down." Dee yawned.

"Do I look fat in this suit?" Alice asked with worried expression.

Pierce shook his head. "No! You look fine!"

Alice narrowed her eyes on Pierce, making the boy flinch. "Hmph! You're just saying that to make me feel better about myself! I hate liars..."

"U-Uh..." Sidney quickly said; "Yeah, I think you look a bit fat..." and seeing the actress changed her expression made Sidney regret his answer.

Alice pouted and looked away, crossing her arms. "H-Huh...So I look fat...Fine. So that's how it is? Fine!" she scoffed angrily.

Black twitched. "What the f—then what's the fucking answer to that!?" he complained in disbelief.

Boris flicked his fingers. "Oh, how about..." he came forth and suddenly embraced the girl. "Let me see...Hm...Nope! You fit just fine in my arms!" he let go and grinned at her.

Alice blushed and beamed. "Aww...you...!" she kissed his cheek, making Boris blush in happiness.

Dum whistled. "Whoa, that's new...pretty creative! I thought there's no answer to that...Played well, noob." He nodded and gave Boris a thumb up.

"Don't you think that girl looks prettier than me?" Alice asked with a wry expression, glancing to an imaginary prettier girl.

That was definitely a trap, so the males fell silent, unable to react. After ten seconds, Alice huffed and scowled.

"Huh, so you do think she's prettier than me!" she angrily looked away.

"We didn't even fucking say anything!" Black protested.

Dee chuckled. "We told you; acts are measured. Silence for women is categorized as an answer."

For a while, Alice acted with various expressions, giving very hard women's questions. Most of the time, the males couldn't give a good response, but slowly, they got the hang of it as Dee and Dum explained the things.

When a girl said; "We need to talk.", it was a very dangerous question; wrong turn and say goodbye to your woman. Try to think what you've done, or start to apologize before anything.

Example;

"We need to talk." Alice narrowed her eyes on Blood.

Blood sighed in defeat. "I know, I know...I'm sorry...it's about last night's date, right? I told you I'm sorry...I really tried to spare my time..."

"No, that's not it!" Alice shook her head.

"Oh...is it about Rebecca?" Blood frowned. "I'm sorry...If that bothers you, I won't talk to her anymore..."

Alice gulped and shook her head. "That's not it, Blood..."

"Oh...I know..." Blood hit his palm with his fist. "I've been being a bad boyfriend to you, is that it? If you really think so...please tell me...I'll always try to be better for you, Alice. I'll always try my best for you...I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for not paying attention to you..." he looked down.

Alice bit her lower lip and shook her head. "N-No...Y-You've done nothing wrong, Blood...I just..." she gulped, seeming awkward. "Um, oh...I-I was going too...Um, I forgot..." she laughed nervously. "Let's just forget about it and...Hey, let's have a great date tomorrow. I'll make sandwich!"

Next trap question is; "Do I look fat?". Keep in mind, for girls, there are no rhetorical question; silence is also and answer. Don't deny and don't say yes to their face. Try to get out of it by being creative, like Boris had done earlier.

"That girl looks pretty, huh?" is another trap, but depends on the circumstances. If the girl is actually not prettier than your girlfriend, then just laugh it off, since it means that she's trying to feel better about herself.

If the girl is actually really pretty more than your girlfriend, these are the cliché answers that most girls had been immune to;

"You're fine the way you are.",

"I like you better.",

"I can only see you in my eyes.",

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.",

"I like your type more.",

And... "You're beautiful just the way you are."

The answer for the question "That girl looks pretty, huh?" also depends on the type of your girlfriend.

For example:

If she's a popular and girly type, it'd be very hard to answer, since being pretty is everything she's got on going. It's important to protect her pride, but cliché answers really wouldn't work.

Instead, ask her back; "Why do you think that?" or "Do you really think so?"

These responses would reflect her own questions, and she'll realize that she's fishing for praise, only to defy it.

If she's the shy and low-esteemed type, try to boost her confidence by saying;

"I don't really care about that..." casually and sincerely, then put on a warm smile as you look at her. "I think inner beauty is more important for me."

(Effect on this type of girl would be; hard blush and insomnia with major can't-stop-smiling syndrome as she played your words on and on in her mind, plus growing confidence.)

If she's the tomboy type, be casual and joke a little. Tomboys are females with their feminine side trapped beneath their immature, less-female-hormone-body. Deep down, they'd wish to feel better about themselves, but don't act too frigid about this.

Say something that goes along the line of; "Haha! She is...! She gets more boobs there...But I don't date for boobs, silly. Don't mind it too much!" and give her a very bright, sincere smile that make her trust you so much while casually patting her shoulder.

...If your girlfriend is the weird oddball type like the author of this stupid fanfiction, go all the way to agree with her.

"Well duh! Look at 'em curves she's got! And those boobs! And how stylish she's dressed! And now look at you! You look like a walking log wearing sweater and jogging pants!"

"But I have boobs."

"I can't see your boobs under your over-sized clothes!"

"But I'm a prude. I can't help it."

"I know. I only want to marry a virgin."

"Gee, thanks. I feel better about myself since I'm promised a husband now."

(There's no correct or wrong answer if your girlfriend is a weird girl. Because most of the time, she'd be wondering why you'd put up with her.)

~.X.~

Old-Fashioned Girls

And so, the next week's Simulation was led by Gowland.

"Old-Fashioned girls are mostly virgin; the highest virgin rate's currently from South-East Asia, but lately it's been down due to globalization and westernization." Gowland explained, pointing at a chart in the room.

"Unlike Japanese, Korean nor Chinese, these girls only date for the fun of hanging out and enjoy the company of the opposite sex. Losing virginity before marriage would be a dreadful shame to their family and a big sin. In most of the South East Asia's countries, abortion is illegal and is a serious crime. It's against their firm religions and human rights."

Ace hummed with a smirk. "They sound quite sweet and innocent then."

Gowland chuckled. "That's not something to quickly concluded, though. South-East Asia have pretty bad economy, so despite this, their family...and even most of the girls would seek men that are mature, economically average or more, have their own house and salary."

Elliot sighed. "It's like, all girls on planet Earth don't care about true love!"

"Quite close." Gowland nodded. "Of course, there's always exceptions. But that's why you're here! So you can make these girls fall in love with you, right?"

"They're easily impressed and attracted with western boys, so there aren't much to learn. We're going to continue with African and Australian..."

~.X.~

It was the last day for their second month's lessons. Black was the only one left in the class, scowling at his guide book. After a while learning here, he only thought more that girls are irritating. Like, there was not a single couple on Earth was truly in love. Everything, everyone of them had a motive to be in a relationship.

"What's the fucking point in all this shit, then?" Black threw his book to the table. "To rub the fucking fact that nothing's sincere in this fucking planet?"

Alice just finished changing, and heard what Black said, so she approached him.

"I used to think that too..." she said, taking Black's book and stared at the summary at the back. "I still do. Humans aren't eternal, unlike God. Humans are dynamic; they can change, they're free, as well as their feelings. At times like this, things such as true-love is really hard to find..."

Black stared at her with a scowl. "Is that shit really exist?"

Alice chuckled. "I never think that love between humans can be true...True love is something that should be eternal. Humans don't live forever...But that doesn't mean that their love doesn't matter. One can fall in love to a person, and once that person dies, one can move on and fall in love again."

The red head scoffed and glanced away. "That fucking sucks."

Alice giggled. "I think it's a blessing. It's wonderful that we can change, we can move on, we can grow and have different feelings to different people. It's in our nature; why waste our life to grief on only one love? When you're still alive, you should love as much as you can."

Black stared at the actress in surprise, since she looked very sincere about her words; he had never seen her like that. He even knew she wasn't acting.

"In fact, we should love everything that we've been blessed with. We should love our life, we should love our friends, our family, the nature, the animals...Isn't that true love?" she then glanced to Black and beamed. "I wish, when you and your friends finished this course, you guys will think differently about love."

Black glanced away with clear blush.

"Love isn't a dramatic story between a man or woman. Love is a kind thing; it's a blessing, it's inside us...Something that makes us choose the right decisions in life. Something that makes us humans; never giving up, always doing our best, becoming wise, down-to-earth, brave...all things that makes us humans and those around us to be good."

Alice's eyes widened, and she fell silent. Black cleared his throat, feeling a little awkward as he knew that Alice just revealed her true self.

"Sorry for being weird, hahaha..." she giggled, returning to act again and winked to Black. "See you next week, Lover Boy!" the dark blonde left.

Black gulped and said, before she could left the room; "Thanks for telling me that."

He looked away in shame as Alice left with red face.

He smiled to himself, feeling rather happy that he was the first one...maybe the only one who ever saw the actress to act sincerely.

"Well at least now I fucking learned that this love thing is fucking good, not a tear-jerker teenage drama..."

* * *

**I got a great headache, and it's weird that it's gone after I'm done with this chapter. Ne way, I've been busy with FictionPress, and a closing plot...**

**So yeah, these are all things that I sincerely think about relationships, love and girls. Feel free to tell me what's on your mind, and if you think I'm super naive for writing this. It's just the kind of person I am.**

**And so, here's the extra**:

* * *

Author's Room: Girls with Different Hair Colors

Author: So today, as requested, we're going to determine girls based on their hair colors...

*clears throat*

Blonde: Hey, I'm a blonde! Having a blonde hair means that I'm gonna suck your d—

*cut*

Blonde: ...I'm feisty, thinks a lot more than I appear to. Even as the shy, the tomboy, the girly or prude, blondes are known to have feisty; it's inside us. We can be ambitious most of the time. Mary Ingalls, Cinderella, Aurora; we're blondes and we're feisty...Mary Ingalls was known to be ambitious about studying. Blondes also have natural charm, so yeah, most of us are popular~! Why do you think Hannah Montana is so popular, huh?

Red-head: How y'all doin'? I'm a red-head...or ginger. Having ginger head means that I'm gonna suck your di—

Red-head: I'm unique and rare! I'm going to be extinct in the future, so many would like to be my friends! Red-head are usually connected with witches; strong witches are gingers; Sabrina, Ginny Weasley, Lily Potter. We're also a bit nutty but always interesting, like Ariel. Unfortunately, most of us have these annoying freckles! But then again, they can be our sweetening features~!

Brunette: Hello there! I'm a brunette. I'm a pretty common type, so we're the type that likes to try and blend in the crowds...Though in some novels we'd have a hard time from being nerdy and low-esteemed. Brunettes fit in a wide range of personality; girly, tomboy, feisty, sassy, shy...Most of us have low esteem and don't really realize our good points. Good thing about us, we're mostly nice...Even if we appear like a complete bitch, we have inner kindness. Unfortunately, our type is known to compare ourselves with others, and sometimes get jealous for no reason.

Brunette: Since we're common and close to girls in general, brunettes mostly become a main character in Dating Sims which doesn't show the MC's face. We're known for being cheerful and stubborn, but likes to keep our problems to ourselves.

Ravenette: Or you can say black-haired girls. Since black-head is a skin problem. Anyways, ravenettes are mostly Asians; we're always fiercely intelligent. If we're not Asians, we're stunningly beautiful; take Katie McGrath who plays Morgana in Merlin, for example. Despite this fact, we don't really care about our appearance; most of us are introverted or tomboys; shy, nerdy, to kickass. What attract us ranked from kindess, intelligence, sincerity and charming will be on the last list. We tend to like guys that are more mature than us. If we're the shy type, we'd be secretly cursing in our head. If we're the tomboy type, we'd say 'Fuck you' in your face, so loud that the entire school can hear.

Author: And I'm hereby to be in place for girls who aren't sure about their hair-colors. To put it simply, girls with uncertain hair-color which changes under different lights have one sure serious problem; identity crisis. We're fucking weird, most of us are funny, most of the time we'd be asking how do we fit in with the crowds. Even after a long while of socializing, we'd still wonder if they're our friends...And then like, 'Meh.' We like to be different and always like to do weird things. For example, I dyed my hair rainbow just because. Oh, and we also love to see reactions, so sometimes we'd do weird things just to see how people face will look like.

BF: Now we're moving onto Boys with different hair colors! For starters, I'm a brunet! A brunet guy LOVES boobs.

Raven-head: Hi, I'm black-haired boy. You know, one thing for sure about raven-heads? We LOVE boobs.

Ginger boy: Hey! I'm a red-head boy! I love BOOBS!

Blond: Hey there ladies! I love boobs!

Random-hair-colored boy: I LOOOVE BOOOBS!

Author: So, the conclusion is...

BF: Girls are complicated with their hair-colors. All of them have identity-crisis. Some probably will laugh or disagree to my GF's words.

Author: And boys, no matter what their hair-color is...they love boobs.

* * *

**Haters gonna hate~**

**Which part nags you or possibly your favorite? Share it to me in your reviews! ;)**


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